Free and easy down the road I go.

So I realized that I drafted a post almost 2 weeks ago that I never finished. I decided to scrap it and start over. First of all, can we talk about how tragic it is that Natasha Richardson is dead? From a head injury from a minor ski fall? So, so sad. Ron silver died too (he was Bruno on The West Wing). Both of their families are on my mind.

I turned 23 on Monday. Birthdays are exciting, and mine was really fun. I did a bunch of fun stuff leading up to it, like wine tasting, hiking in Montano de Oro, a few dinners with friends . . . and I got to wear my new birthday dress . . . which I will wear twice more . . . thus making the cost totally worth it. Haha. I had to justify it to my mom, and boy did I.

Work was ridiculously busy the past few weeks. March is Women's History Month, and all our events fell into the same two week period, starting with Vagina Monologues and ending with International Women's Day. The Woman of the Year Award Luncheon was a week ago, and it went so well. I planned it this year, and last year, and was so pleased. Now, however, my body is letting me know it's exhausted by developing a hacking cough. ANNOYING. You can suck it body!

I leave to go home on Saturday. I'll be there for a little over a week, and I can't wait!! My Christmas was cut short, but since then, I have been stock piling hours so that I can be home for a week. Jonathan will be there, so I'll be hanging out with him a lot, which will be so nice. I'll also get to celebrate my birthday with friends from home and my family. Yay :) Also, I plan on spending a lot of time laying out by our pool getting tan. Yes . . . I need it. After the past few months, I'm excited to escape here for a bit.

I need to start figuring out what I am going to do next year. There will definitely be some conversations between my mom and I when I get home. Right now, moving back home doesn't seem like a bad idea. I could save up money and get away. I've been up here for like 5 years and it's waring on me. There isn't a whole lot holding me here anymore. We'll see though . . . jobs are hard to get regardless of the location, so I can't be too picky.

I'm really looking forward to this summer for concerts! Diana and I are going to see Taylor Swift in May and it's going to be amazing. And I think John and I are going to see No Doubt in July, which was be so so cool. I'm just excited for things to come.

Line dancing, bars, and movies.

10.

10 couple dances.

10 couple dances IN A ROW.

This is not acceptable. Amanda, Emily, and I went line dancing at the Grad on Thursday, and I was so excited to be getting out. However, in addition to there being a crack ton of people there, they played 10 couple dances in a row. I think I danced to maybe 5 songs in the 2 or 3 hours we were there. Seriously girl dj? Ihateyou. After complaining through a good 8 songs, we decided that if the next song was a slow one, we would peace out. Guess what. It was in fact.

I want my $5 back.

On Friday, Chrissy turned 21. Yay! She’s the baby in the group, and this was exciting. Julie, Val, and Helen all came into town and we partied it up. Now, I am not a fan of the bars. I don’t know why . . . I used to love them. But when I think about them slash when I’m there, I get this really back anxiety. I wish I knew where it came from. Anyway, I had not been to the bars in the last time I went with Allie and Rachel like last April or May. It was a blast though. We all dressed up, and Amanda came too. Good music too . . . Push It and Jump On It were both played . . . so great. It was nice to get out with all my old friends, but Amanda and I definitely left at 12. It was raining and honestly, nothing sounded better than my bed.

Saturday was a fun day, and I felt really good about what I did. One of my fellow Promise Fellows works for United Cerebral Palsy. So Amanda, Heather, and I volunteered to help with the outing to the Morro Bay Aquarium and Round Table. All the kids that were there have some sort of developmental problem, so it’s something completely different then what I usually do. I like working with this group though . . . it feels really fulfilling. Also, whenever people come visit now, WE ARE GOING TO THE AQUARIUM. It’s super small and a short journey, but you can feed sea lions and harbor seals and it’s all native California fish. It’s so small town and so classic Morro Bay. That night I went to the movies with my friend James. It was maybe a date . . . he had asked me out before by asking if I wanted to watch a movie, and I had said no because I was going to bed that night. For future reference, that, to me, is not asking me out. Haha. Taking me to a movie and buying my ticket and telling me I look nice is more of what I picture. We saw “Defiance,” which I really liked. The premise is that Daniel Craig rounds up fellow Jews escaping from the Germans and they live in the woods to avoid concentration camps and ghettos. It was really well done and I definitely recommend it. It was fun hanging out with James. I’ve been so hung up on John and the whole situation that it was definitely different . . . but good different. I’ve pretty much given up on the John thing. I threw it out there, and he never gave me an answer and is now acting like a horrible friend. Forget dating . . . friendship is on the line here. But whatever . . . I need to let it go.

Sunday was a Target trip (loveit) and “He’s Just Not That Into You” with Amanda. I loved the movie. There were numerous times while I was watching that I thought to myself “Oh my god I do that.” The whole thing just made sense . . . which probably sounds super cheesy, but it definitely made me think. After that, I dropped by Legends, the bar in MB where James works. We had a little visit before I went and dropped $93 on groceries. I joined Weight Watchers last week, and I was stocking up. I’m really excited about it . . . I’m confident that it will make a difference. I like having a guide, something to look at and gauge how much of something I can eat. I get weighed about at a meeting tomorrow, so I’ll get to see how the first week went. Exciting!

Wow . . . I basically just wrote a novel. I’m still suffering from a cold, so have been pretty useless today. However, I’m putting updating the blog in the “Win” column for the day. Love you all!

Ups and Downs

This has been a week of ups and downs. It started on Monday, when I waited all day to hear about whether or not I was getting a final interview for Teach for America. Turns out, I did not. I found out at work, so I called my mom, cried a bit, but then ultimately had to compose myself and get stuff done. I was super bummed, but after talking to my friends and my mom, I have come to realize that there is something else out there, something better. I think that it's their loss for not taking me, that I would have been an amazing teacher on a reservation, but I will find something else. At the moment, I am really interested in working at a winery. That would mean staying in the area for a while longer . . . I'm not sure I want to do that though so it's definitely something I will have to think about.

Life has been movie heavy lately, which is an up. I've seen Frost/Nixon and Gran Torino, and loved them both. I can't figure out why Gran Torino was shafted at the Oscras . . . maybe they missed the cutoff? If not, the Academy fucked up. Next on my list is Slumdog Millionaire, which I plan on seeing this weekend. The Reader and The Wrestler are also at The Palm so I might have to go for the trifecta and see them all.

I've had the office to myself the past few days because Mariana has been sick. It's been a nice change because I feel especially useful. I'm the one people come to. Tonight is a bug up because I have a sushi date with Holly and McKenzie and I'm going LINE DANCING! Sushi will be delish, or course. We're going to Sumo, which I haven't been to in months . . . I'm branching out from Shin's . . . be proud. And line dancing? One of my favorite things to do EVER. It's been months since I've been . . . which is tough because not only is it fun adn great exercise, but it's a stress reliever and a therapeutic type activity for me. I'm proud to be good at it, and I can't wait to get out there and do some boot scootin'. I'm going to miss Rachel, Liz, and Allie tonight though because it is definitely NOT the same without them.

I'm ready for the weekend. I've been anxious all week, which is not healthy. I want to veg out so badly, and I will get to soon. Le sigh . . . only a day and a half left.

4:50 am is not the right time for a phone call.

My brother called me this morning . . . at 4:50 am. I love talking to my brother . . . just not that early. I did not answer, because quite honestly, I didn't care what he had to say. I texted him, "it's not even 5. why are you calling me?" His response? "Alex [his room mate] told me to. He wants to hear your Benjamin Button impression. I'll smack him." I told him to "Please do. I'll do it later."

SERIOUSLY JONATHAN??? Add the fact that he's on his mid-semester break, on his way to New York to stay in a hotel over Time Square, and I wanted to shoot him.

Welcome to my life.

Sushi.

I am craving sushi. Like seriously, Shin's is my crack. I go with my friend William and, no joke, one of the last times we went in there, the red headed waitress thatwilliamwantstogetwith said "oh you guys are like the new regulars!" I can't decide if I should be proud or ashamed of that fact. The jury is still out. Anyway, yes, I am going to Shin's in like 45 minutes and my tummy could not be happier.

I getting the travel bug lately. I am DYING to go back to Maui. It's one of my favorite places on the planet, and all my memories have been rushing back lately. I was watching "Jon and Kate Plus 8" the other day (best.show.ever) and they were getting remarried in Maui at a hotel called the Grand Wailea. Now, when I first started watching, I did not know this. But as I watched more and realized where it was, my reaction was yelled "HOLY CRAP I'VE BEEN THERE!" Because I have. When my brother and I were little, my whole family used to go with my dad on business trips to fun places. And we stayed at the GW. And, although I was only in like 3rd grade, I was old enough to know that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and that the property was AMAZING. It's been a few years since a family trip there, and although family trips are all well and good, they are getting harder to arrange/tolerate, and I really want to experience a place like that with friends. I'm plotting to get there somehow. Who's in? Haha.

I'm excited for the weekend. My mom was here last weekend and we hung out and went whale watching (which was phenomenal). I'm ready for another break though. I've been tired . . . and not from work stress. From emotional stress. I have bounced back and forth from being sad to being furious. It's getting better . . . it's stemming from the fact that I asked someone out . . . over a week ago . . . and I've seen him since . . . and he hasn't brought it up again or given me an answer. Honestly, I would prefer a flat out rejection than that. And it's not like I was unclear. I even backtracked and made things more clear. It's frustrating. And I can't decide what is more frustrating- the fact that I took the chance and threw it out there or the way it is getting treated. I just have to get over it . . . easier said than done with me though. Le sigh.

I'm other news, you know who was at Harvard yesterday? Lindsey Semi-Lesbian Lohan. And you know who she was hanging out with? Rose Kennedy, JFK's grand daughter and the daughter of Caroline. I, of course, jumped on the phone with my brother to see if he knew this juicy bit of information. He did not (like I should assume any different). Funny though . . . Harvard isn't on my top 100 places to imagine seeing Lindsey.

Also, the Academy Award nominations were announced this morning. YAAAY! I need to do more movie going before I fill out my ballot :)

Two days.

Friday Afternoon:

My weekend beings in an hour and a half. THANK GOD. The past two days have been hair pulling out worthy . . . I have been yelled and scolded by numerous people, and although I will take partial responsibility for some of the issues, it's not completely my fault. Also, I have come to the conclusion that if I don't cry relatively often, it builds up in my and I end up spending almost an entire day in tears (ummm hey Wednesday).

I had my Teach for America phone interview yesterday, and I think it went well! And, not gonna lie . . . I definitely flirted with the guy on the phone a bit. And when I say flirted, I mean joked around with because that's what I do. He was calling from Chicago . . . where it was 3 degrees and snowing. I, on the other hand, was sitting at my kitchen table, looking out at the crystal clear ocean in the 80 degree weather. I win. I was caught off guard by a few of the questions and had to think on my feet a bit. I was happy, though, to be able to explain why I want to teach on a Native America reservation. I'm super passionate about it, and I was able to get that across. I find out on the 26th if I will be granted the last interview, an one day in person shindig in either Los Angeles, San Diego, San Fransisco, or San Jose. Fingers crossed!

I also took a big of a risk/chance recently. I still do not know the outcome because not everyone is as open and talky as I am, but I'm hoping for the best. I'm really REALLY trying to stay positive about the whole thing. If anything, I would just like to be put out of my misery quickly because stressball nervous on edge Jess is not all together happy Jess.


Saturday night:

I'm going whale watching in the morning, and I CAN'T WAIT! When I was younger, I went whale watching every year. I used to have dreams about a whale coming up to the side of the boat and I would touch it and it would do tricks . . . all very Free Willy. I love being out on the ocean . . . especially when it's windy and slightly rough. I definitely have some sea legs on me :) I credit my dad, and the fact that he was in the Australian navy.

My mom is in town, which is AWESOME. This is like her little vacation . . . her get-a-way from my dad. You'd think she's chill out . . . not the case. This morning, she got it in her head that she wanted to clean my stove and dust my place (not a fan of dusting). This led to a 2 hour cleaning frenzy. Gotta love mom. I guess my attitude about it is if it works for me, then it's fine. Not many people come to visit me, so I have no real reason to keep things as clean as I used to. Sad.

As for my taking a risk, still no word on the outcome. I'm beginning to think that the lack of response is the response, and that I should just drop the whole thing. I can only take so much, you know? (PS: was that vague enough? I could make it vaguer. haha).

I think I just need some sleep. I gave my mom my bed, so I am sleeping on my futon couch . . . which is broken . . . and sags in the middle. LOVE IT. 'Tis my life.

A little somethin' somethin'.

So I've jumped on the blog train. Honestly, with reading Rachel's and Liz's, it was only just a matter of time :) I want to keep in touch with old friends, but it's super hard to do with busy schedules . . . this seems like a good solution. I'm not going to do much blogging tonight because I need to get lots of sleep. I have a phone interview for Teach for America in the morning (!!! excited !!!) I applied last year, and didn't even make it past the first cuts. But I applied again and advanced to the second round! I am so glad to talk to an actual person and elaborate on things I could not in 500 words on my essay, letter of intent, and resume. So, after tomorrow, I will have more to say. Things have changed for me since graduation, and even from summer time. And I want to share. In the meantime, I miss my friends who have moved away, but am doing good where I am at. Loves.