Ups and Downs

This has been a week of ups and downs. It started on Monday, when I waited all day to hear about whether or not I was getting a final interview for Teach for America. Turns out, I did not. I found out at work, so I called my mom, cried a bit, but then ultimately had to compose myself and get stuff done. I was super bummed, but after talking to my friends and my mom, I have come to realize that there is something else out there, something better. I think that it's their loss for not taking me, that I would have been an amazing teacher on a reservation, but I will find something else. At the moment, I am really interested in working at a winery. That would mean staying in the area for a while longer . . . I'm not sure I want to do that though so it's definitely something I will have to think about.

Life has been movie heavy lately, which is an up. I've seen Frost/Nixon and Gran Torino, and loved them both. I can't figure out why Gran Torino was shafted at the Oscras . . . maybe they missed the cutoff? If not, the Academy fucked up. Next on my list is Slumdog Millionaire, which I plan on seeing this weekend. The Reader and The Wrestler are also at The Palm so I might have to go for the trifecta and see them all.

I've had the office to myself the past few days because Mariana has been sick. It's been a nice change because I feel especially useful. I'm the one people come to. Tonight is a bug up because I have a sushi date with Holly and McKenzie and I'm going LINE DANCING! Sushi will be delish, or course. We're going to Sumo, which I haven't been to in months . . . I'm branching out from Shin's . . . be proud. And line dancing? One of my favorite things to do EVER. It's been months since I've been . . . which is tough because not only is it fun adn great exercise, but it's a stress reliever and a therapeutic type activity for me. I'm proud to be good at it, and I can't wait to get out there and do some boot scootin'. I'm going to miss Rachel, Liz, and Allie tonight though because it is definitely NOT the same without them.

I'm ready for the weekend. I've been anxious all week, which is not healthy. I want to veg out so badly, and I will get to soon. Le sigh . . . only a day and a half left.

4:50 am is not the right time for a phone call.

My brother called me this morning . . . at 4:50 am. I love talking to my brother . . . just not that early. I did not answer, because quite honestly, I didn't care what he had to say. I texted him, "it's not even 5. why are you calling me?" His response? "Alex [his room mate] told me to. He wants to hear your Benjamin Button impression. I'll smack him." I told him to "Please do. I'll do it later."

SERIOUSLY JONATHAN??? Add the fact that he's on his mid-semester break, on his way to New York to stay in a hotel over Time Square, and I wanted to shoot him.

Welcome to my life.

Sushi.

I am craving sushi. Like seriously, Shin's is my crack. I go with my friend William and, no joke, one of the last times we went in there, the red headed waitress thatwilliamwantstogetwith said "oh you guys are like the new regulars!" I can't decide if I should be proud or ashamed of that fact. The jury is still out. Anyway, yes, I am going to Shin's in like 45 minutes and my tummy could not be happier.

I getting the travel bug lately. I am DYING to go back to Maui. It's one of my favorite places on the planet, and all my memories have been rushing back lately. I was watching "Jon and Kate Plus 8" the other day (best.show.ever) and they were getting remarried in Maui at a hotel called the Grand Wailea. Now, when I first started watching, I did not know this. But as I watched more and realized where it was, my reaction was yelled "HOLY CRAP I'VE BEEN THERE!" Because I have. When my brother and I were little, my whole family used to go with my dad on business trips to fun places. And we stayed at the GW. And, although I was only in like 3rd grade, I was old enough to know that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and that the property was AMAZING. It's been a few years since a family trip there, and although family trips are all well and good, they are getting harder to arrange/tolerate, and I really want to experience a place like that with friends. I'm plotting to get there somehow. Who's in? Haha.

I'm excited for the weekend. My mom was here last weekend and we hung out and went whale watching (which was phenomenal). I'm ready for another break though. I've been tired . . . and not from work stress. From emotional stress. I have bounced back and forth from being sad to being furious. It's getting better . . . it's stemming from the fact that I asked someone out . . . over a week ago . . . and I've seen him since . . . and he hasn't brought it up again or given me an answer. Honestly, I would prefer a flat out rejection than that. And it's not like I was unclear. I even backtracked and made things more clear. It's frustrating. And I can't decide what is more frustrating- the fact that I took the chance and threw it out there or the way it is getting treated. I just have to get over it . . . easier said than done with me though. Le sigh.

I'm other news, you know who was at Harvard yesterday? Lindsey Semi-Lesbian Lohan. And you know who she was hanging out with? Rose Kennedy, JFK's grand daughter and the daughter of Caroline. I, of course, jumped on the phone with my brother to see if he knew this juicy bit of information. He did not (like I should assume any different). Funny though . . . Harvard isn't on my top 100 places to imagine seeing Lindsey.

Also, the Academy Award nominations were announced this morning. YAAAY! I need to do more movie going before I fill out my ballot :)

Two days.

Friday Afternoon:

My weekend beings in an hour and a half. THANK GOD. The past two days have been hair pulling out worthy . . . I have been yelled and scolded by numerous people, and although I will take partial responsibility for some of the issues, it's not completely my fault. Also, I have come to the conclusion that if I don't cry relatively often, it builds up in my and I end up spending almost an entire day in tears (ummm hey Wednesday).

I had my Teach for America phone interview yesterday, and I think it went well! And, not gonna lie . . . I definitely flirted with the guy on the phone a bit. And when I say flirted, I mean joked around with because that's what I do. He was calling from Chicago . . . where it was 3 degrees and snowing. I, on the other hand, was sitting at my kitchen table, looking out at the crystal clear ocean in the 80 degree weather. I win. I was caught off guard by a few of the questions and had to think on my feet a bit. I was happy, though, to be able to explain why I want to teach on a Native America reservation. I'm super passionate about it, and I was able to get that across. I find out on the 26th if I will be granted the last interview, an one day in person shindig in either Los Angeles, San Diego, San Fransisco, or San Jose. Fingers crossed!

I also took a big of a risk/chance recently. I still do not know the outcome because not everyone is as open and talky as I am, but I'm hoping for the best. I'm really REALLY trying to stay positive about the whole thing. If anything, I would just like to be put out of my misery quickly because stressball nervous on edge Jess is not all together happy Jess.


Saturday night:

I'm going whale watching in the morning, and I CAN'T WAIT! When I was younger, I went whale watching every year. I used to have dreams about a whale coming up to the side of the boat and I would touch it and it would do tricks . . . all very Free Willy. I love being out on the ocean . . . especially when it's windy and slightly rough. I definitely have some sea legs on me :) I credit my dad, and the fact that he was in the Australian navy.

My mom is in town, which is AWESOME. This is like her little vacation . . . her get-a-way from my dad. You'd think she's chill out . . . not the case. This morning, she got it in her head that she wanted to clean my stove and dust my place (not a fan of dusting). This led to a 2 hour cleaning frenzy. Gotta love mom. I guess my attitude about it is if it works for me, then it's fine. Not many people come to visit me, so I have no real reason to keep things as clean as I used to. Sad.

As for my taking a risk, still no word on the outcome. I'm beginning to think that the lack of response is the response, and that I should just drop the whole thing. I can only take so much, you know? (PS: was that vague enough? I could make it vaguer. haha).

I think I just need some sleep. I gave my mom my bed, so I am sleeping on my futon couch . . . which is broken . . . and sags in the middle. LOVE IT. 'Tis my life.

A little somethin' somethin'.

So I've jumped on the blog train. Honestly, with reading Rachel's and Liz's, it was only just a matter of time :) I want to keep in touch with old friends, but it's super hard to do with busy schedules . . . this seems like a good solution. I'm not going to do much blogging tonight because I need to get lots of sleep. I have a phone interview for Teach for America in the morning (!!! excited !!!) I applied last year, and didn't even make it past the first cuts. But I applied again and advanced to the second round! I am so glad to talk to an actual person and elaborate on things I could not in 500 words on my essay, letter of intent, and resume. So, after tomorrow, I will have more to say. Things have changed for me since graduation, and even from summer time. And I want to share. In the meantime, I miss my friends who have moved away, but am doing good where I am at. Loves.